I’m sure I am not the only one right now feeling a little lost in this big ol’ crazy world. Seems like everyone is off their rocker’s these days, thanks to the economy and what not. Some of that crazy though is hitting a little too close to home.
So inside my bubble of a bedroom one evening, I turned to a good girly book that two of my dear friends gave me as a bachelorette party present. It was late, I was weary, and I decided as always, to cut to the chase and flip to the back. There I found Chapter Fifteen: The Practical Chapter.
As I was perusing the pages, I found great simple recipes, little snippets of humorous advice, and a couple of “How To’s”. One particular section was called, “Other useful practical things – not to do with food” and in it I found something that struck me down to the core. It was like someone was inside my head, reading my thoughts and then turning around and saying what I needed to hear. I didn’t feel so alone anymore and it relieved me to know that others probably felt the same way.
If you need a dose of medicine via a chick book, then turn to page 375 in the book called “Backwards in High Heels – The Impossible Art of Being Female” by Tania Kindersley & Sarah Vine. Since you do not have it on hand, I will be more than happy to share this uplifting antidote.
How not to go mad, part two:
There are going to be moments when no one gets it. You try and explain words of one syllable, and they look at you as if you have special needs. They just don’t understand your desire to be alone, your rejection of the expected, your secret dreams: they disregard your darkest fears, your most obvious shining hopes. Sometimes strangers or acquaintances do this, and it is fairly easy to brush off. You can call on your age and experience and know that not everyone will get it. It’s a minor communication problem, matter of different perspectives. You might feel a small bruise, because even after twenty years in the adult world, it can sometimes be a shock to find that not everyone sees the world as you do.
The real killer is when the people you love the most don’t get it. If you are anything like we are, you like to romanticize your friendships. Of course you do – with the old and the dear ones, you have years of history together. You are getting to that age when looking back on your youthful selves and all you have come through together is one of the greatest and alluring comforts known to woman. So when the oldest and the most known don’t get it, it can be like a kick to the stomach.
You have defenses for the slights of strangers, but a small misunderstanding from an old friend cuts into you like a steel stiletto. You were all fine and grown up and suddenly you are falling apart, and no amount of perspective police can make a difference, and you feel as if you are losing your reason.
The only solution to this one is to understand that sometimes there is no one in the entire world who gets it. This is the human state, and there is no pill for it. It is part of the deal. You can get furious, and tearful, and disappointed, and this is fine. You know your own remedies: red wine, plain chocolate, dancing about hysterically in the kitchen at eleven at night, with the songs of the mid-seventies’ Stones very, very loud. It’s a reality check, and maybe everyone, no matter how secretly romantic, needs those.
You can take it. It’s life, Jim, just exactly as we know it.
Thank you “T” & Lindsay for my book,